Sunday, July 5, 2009

Golf is to Marriage

You have heard this before and you have felt it: Golf can be humiliating. It challenges you, it changes you. Just when you think you have figured it out it changes up on you. You learn techniques and you learn new tricks but ultimately you have to change. You do seemingly unnatural things and you work against your own personality. In this way golf changes you.

Marriage does too. Friends ask me why I am wiling to marry again. “Why not date?” “Why not just live together?” To answer them I can fall back on custom or culture but in reality I like marriage because, like golf, it changes me. There is an intensity to marriage that is unlike any other form of relationship. It is a crucible.

Then why not stay married no matter what? Well, some people do. That's how they learn. Some people love to play one golf course over and over measuring themselves and their changes against that venue. Others, like me, are willing to change courses and partners, but the measure at the end of the day is not the course or the partner, it is me.

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